General Forum
RE: to Foxy
so its ok for you to analise freeda but not others to analise you.a touch of hypocrisy maybe?
RE: to Foxy
point taken foxy but using the word"maybe"gives the inference that its your opinion of her.its an old way of saying what you think without it sounding like it.as & i'm making an assumption here,i think english is not your native language i should give you the benefit of my original dount.for misinterpretting your post i offer my humble & sincere apology
RE: wake up!
people, people, you're taking your eye off the real villain here!
it was freeda who suggested that those who have nothing to say are boring and gray. i say we grab our torches, hunt her down, and give her a good shaming so that she knows how morally superior we all are compared to her. what do you say? i'll bring the bean dip and we can make a fiesta of it! :D
it was freeda who suggested that those who have nothing to say are boring and gray. i say we grab our torches, hunt her down, and give her a good shaming so that she knows how morally superior we all are compared to her. what do you say? i'll bring the bean dip and we can make a fiesta of it! :D
RE: wake up!
You get within 100 metres of freeda in your hunt, Anonymous, and the hunter becomes the hunted
RE: wake up!
i think it's about time you seriously accepted jesus christ as your personal savior.
Is It A Boy Or A Girl?:-))
When the traveling salesman got the message at the hotel desk that his wife
had given birth, he rushed to the phone.
"Hi honey," he cried happily. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Irving, Irving," sighed his wife wearily, "is that all you can think about?
Sex, sex, sex?"
had given birth, he rushed to the phone.
"Hi honey," he cried happily. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Irving, Irving," sighed his wife wearily, "is that all you can think about?
Sex, sex, sex?"
Husband During Childbirth:-))
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the emergency operator asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the emergency operator asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
did you ever stop & wonder
who was the first person to look at a cow say"i think i'll squeeze these pink dangly things & drink whatever comes out"
who was the first person to say"see that chicken there i'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its ass."
why is there a light in the fridge & not in the freezer?
why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
why does your obstetrician,gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
if corn oil is made from corn & vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from?
if electricity comes from electrons,does morality come from morons?
do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
if a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?
why does someone believe you when you say there are billions of stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
whose idea was it to put an"S" in lisp?
if its true that we are here to help others,what are the others doing here?
how is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
who was the first person to say"see that chicken there i'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its ass."
why is there a light in the fridge & not in the freezer?
why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
why does your obstetrician,gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
if corn oil is made from corn & vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from?
if electricity comes from electrons,does morality come from morons?
do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
if a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?
why does someone believe you when you say there are billions of stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
whose idea was it to put an"S" in lisp?
if its true that we are here to help others,what are the others doing here?
how is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
RE: did you ever stop & wonder
My GYN doc stays in the room and watches me undress, says he needs to make sure I can move all my extremities while he plays hypo-trance music and flicks the lights on & off. Is it true when he tells me his disposable camera can detect breast cancer? cuz he sure takes lots of pictures of me.
RE: did you ever stop & wonder
well, he calls it a meat thermometer. I guess that because it made from real meat....or at least it feels like real meat, he never let's me see it
RE: happiness
big brave gun toting maniac not only needs a firearm but a target that doesn't move.wow you are my hero!
where is 1mermaid?
Does anyone know what has happened to 1mermaid?, would like to know if she has left here for good, or maybe has a new name??
RE: where is 1mermaid?
sitting on my face at the moment ... hang on a sec, I'll get her to say something ...
... hello, this is 1mermaid, I am here, thank you for asking. Can I go now, I have some cock-sucking to do.
... hello, this is 1mermaid, I am here, thank you for asking. Can I go now, I have some cock-sucking to do.
RE: where is 1mermaid?
apologises for the prev post:P was mean to be to A Banana :)) forgot to put the "to" tho ..grrrr
RE: Love
Nah, she'll get more viewers. Trust me. My ex-gf found a richer man after we decided to go public (LOL)
RE: Love
ignore these bozos Mondo, let's share our love with the world ... my public awaits me!
RE: Love
that post above yours was not mine.hopefully i'm not that low brow.guess its one of these forum hyenas.thingy
RE: hmmmmm....
my dear Polina how could they or even dare to confuse you with anyone else. you'll always be my #1.
RE: hmmmmm....
i refer you to post"do you like"oct 23 & the replies by"me" on oct24,pretty witch on oct 24 & "not me"on oct 25 always you say??? :-D
RE: hmmmmm....
PW olgaolga only says crazy things where you are the"real deal" you are crazzzyyyyyyyyy!! is olgaolga queen of the idiots?she is probably just trying to be like you.remember"imitation is the greatest form of flattery"
p.s any comments passed here were meant entirely in jest.PW & olgaolga know this but thought i would make a pre-emptive strike for all those who don't understand this.
p.s any comments passed here were meant entirely in jest.PW & olgaolga know this but thought i would make a pre-emptive strike for all those who don't understand this.
RE: hmmmmm....
Bestest friend, you will NEVER lose your popularity with me, Polina. Biut Lena is a fun girl :-P
RE: hmmmmm....
i am not her clone!!!!!
http://img128.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=72862_CLONE1_122_539lo.jpg
http://img128.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=72862_CLONE1_122_539lo.jpg
RE: hmmmmm....
Come on, she looks like everyother host form her country.
"Nothing to see here folks, move along!"
"Nothing to see here folks, move along!"
RE: hmmmmm....
Some hosts here and some members too have an inflated perspective on their wit, humour and intelligence. They dominate both chat and forum. Can we hear from others please?
RE: tell pls
hard for u monika as u dont do anything ..lol for 99% of the girls thats an easy question..
oh except for those chosen few you try and be sexy for " wink"
oh except for those chosen few you try and be sexy for " wink"
RE: tell pls
Even though i know you are in Non-Adult and do not strip, says so in your profile :-P
RE: tell pls
after the usual hi and how are u and some chat in text when i enter a video and the host says "so how are you again" as if it changed in three minutes i usually answer "i'm better now"
RE: tell pls
Are you married?...Why are you here? Host listen up, youst because we are married doesn't mean were are getting laid 24/7, we like to have some fun also.
RE: tell pls
"What do u do on video?" I never know if he asking me to list all my actions cause i'm breathing for example, smiling, looking, feeling and many other little things, lol, are u, guys, ask me to be comprehensive in my actions ;), ohh, ohh, i never know and what i can DO when i'm an EXCIBITOR on an ADULT site on my vid instead to show off my BODY??? Who is the stupid here??? So stop to ask us SILLY questions!!!
getting old
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his fronch porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look", she said. What's your secret for a long happy life? "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day and I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." That's amazing, said the woman, "how old are you?" "Twenty-six, " he said
RE: getting old
bitchy bitchy *24 you don't understand the humor or relationship between those 2 i think.btw do you look in the mirror oil painting?
RE: getting old
it was a joke, for the ones who dont understand;-) and even shy knows that:P ...but hey *24, i wud really like to see u :D
RE: getting old
damn..ur right cara...does sound like me....only im a lil more wrinkly than the guy in the chair :p
I been having headaches
I been having headaches for 20 years now and just had to go to a doctor. The doctor said, "Chase, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news my friend is that it will require castration. As I look up at him from the bed I thought oh my God. The doc said I had a very rare condition, which causes my testicles to press on my spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. He said the only way to relieve the pressure was to remove my testicles.."
I was shocked at first and became depressed over these last days. I wondered if I had anything to live for, but I had no choice but to go under the knife.
When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of myself.
As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I said to myself I could make a new beginning and live a new life. I saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit. That'll make me feel a little better." I entered the shop and told the saleslady, "I'll like a new suit".
The elderly saleslady eyed me briefly and said, "lets see hmm, size 44 long. I laughed and said, "thats right, how did you know?
"Been in the business 60 years!" the lady siad. I try the suit on and it did fit perfectly.
As I admired myself in the mirror, the saleslady asked, "How about a new shirt?" I thought for a moment and than said, "Sure".
The saleslady eyed me and said, hmm lets see, 34 sleeves and 16 1/2 neck. I was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" Been in buisness 60 years she said.
I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As I walked comfortably around the shop and the saleslady asked, "How about some new underwear?" I was sort of a little shy at the moment and thought and said, "Sure."
The saleslady said, hmm lets see...size 36. I laughed, and said I got you now, I've worn a size 34 since I was 25 years old.
The saleslady shook her head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
New Suit-----$400
New Shirt--- $50
New Underwera-- $12
Second Opinion----PRICELESS
I was shocked at first and became depressed over these last days. I wondered if I had anything to live for, but I had no choice but to go under the knife.
When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of myself.
As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I said to myself I could make a new beginning and live a new life. I saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit. That'll make me feel a little better." I entered the shop and told the saleslady, "I'll like a new suit".
The elderly saleslady eyed me briefly and said, "lets see hmm, size 44 long. I laughed and said, "thats right, how did you know?
"Been in the business 60 years!" the lady siad. I try the suit on and it did fit perfectly.
As I admired myself in the mirror, the saleslady asked, "How about a new shirt?" I thought for a moment and than said, "Sure".
The saleslady eyed me and said, hmm lets see, 34 sleeves and 16 1/2 neck. I was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" Been in buisness 60 years she said.
I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As I walked comfortably around the shop and the saleslady asked, "How about some new underwear?" I was sort of a little shy at the moment and thought and said, "Sure."
The saleslady said, hmm lets see...size 36. I laughed, and said I got you now, I've worn a size 34 since I was 25 years old.
The saleslady shook her head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
New Suit-----$400
New Shirt--- $50
New Underwera-- $12
Second Opinion----PRICELESS
Freudian Slip
One guy says to his friend; "I've been making a lot of Freudian slips lateley." His friend asks "What do you mean?"
"Well, for example, at the train station, I asked for a Picket to Tittsburgh!"
"I know what you mean," his friend replies. "I've been having the same problem. The other day I was reading the paper while I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted to say "Honey, can you please pass the salt?" But instead I said...."You bitch; you ruined my life!""
"Well, for example, at the train station, I asked for a Picket to Tittsburgh!"
"I know what you mean," his friend replies. "I've been having the same problem. The other day I was reading the paper while I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted to say "Honey, can you please pass the salt?" But instead I said...."You bitch; you ruined my life!""
Good list!
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
...................................
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
...................................................
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
...................................
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
...................................
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
...................................
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
...................................
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
...................................
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
...................................
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
...................................
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
...................................
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
...................................
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
...................................
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
...................................
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
...................................
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
...................................
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
...................................
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
...................................
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
...................................
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
...................................
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
...................................
21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
...................................
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
...................................
23. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
...................................
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
...................................
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
...................................
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
...................................
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
...................................
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
...................................
NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
...................................
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
...................................................
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
...................................
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
...................................
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
...................................
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
...................................
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
...................................
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
...................................
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
...................................
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
...................................
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
...................................
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
...................................
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
...................................
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
...................................
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
...................................
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
...................................
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
...................................
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
...................................
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
...................................
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
...................................
21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
...................................
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
...................................
23. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
...................................
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
...................................
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
...................................
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
...................................
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
...................................
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
...................................
NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
RE: Rating?
must have just started today ..looks like yes they do , by gold stars...wanna know what I gave you ?
RE: Rating?
I have had a go on this one many many times, and can confirm that the blacker the berry, the sweeter the rating
RE: Rating?
i have read this one many many many many times & can say there is no cherry on top
RE: Rating?
CC had a contest a few months back were the viewers got to vote for the host they liked the most. But I think it only showed the Top 10, it would have been intersting to see the bottom 25...lol
RE: Rating?
the bottom 25 are the hosts who have, coincidentally, the 25 biggest bottoms ... it's a strange strange world out there I know ...
RE: Rating?
good call dude! In that case I will give out the first banana rating to xyourdreamx ... Lana always gets top marks in my book, 5 big bananas out of 5!
Here is the breakdown of the banana rating:
5 - perfection!
4 - rather decent
3 - semi-decent
2 - semi-horror
1 - full horror
0 - absolutely painfully Rosie-O'Donnell-meets-Swamp-Thing awful
Here is the breakdown of the banana rating:
5 - perfection!
4 - rather decent
3 - semi-decent
2 - semi-horror
1 - full horror
0 - absolutely painfully Rosie-O'Donnell-meets-Swamp-Thing awful
names
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits."
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits."
freeda
I am utterly confused. freeda makes many posts, she is Non-Adult, makes many very Adult posts, has man trouble, man trouble is sorted, and now, she has NEVER been kissed????? Mind you, her pics are GREAT.
Concise Essay:-))
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay
containing these four elements:
*religion
*royalty
*sex
*mystery
The prize-winning essay read:
"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
containing these four elements:
*religion
*royalty
*sex
*mystery
The prize-winning essay read:
"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Linguistics Professor:-))
A distinguished linguistics professor was lecturing on the phenomenon of
double negatives. As he neared the end of his talk, he drew himself up and
declared solemnly:
In conclusion, let me observe that while there are numerous cases where
a double negative conveys a positve, there is no case where a double
positive conveys a negative.
Whereupon, from the back of the room, arose a small voice dripping with
disdainful condescension:
Yeah, yeah...
double negatives. As he neared the end of his talk, he drew himself up and
declared solemnly:
In conclusion, let me observe that while there are numerous cases where
a double negative conveys a positve, there is no case where a double
positive conveys a negative.
Whereupon, from the back of the room, arose a small voice dripping with
disdainful condescension:
Yeah, yeah...
Writing Home The Easy Way:-))
Date: ___________
Dear Parent(s),
I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics
of interest to both of us.
Please send:
__ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______
__ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________
__ Clean clothes!
Relationships:
__ What?
__ I am in love with myself
__ I am in love!
__ I am engaged
__ I got married last weekend
My Roommate:
__ Worships the ground I walk on
__ Gave me a black eye
__ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason
__ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed ???
__ Has fleas
My Professors are:
__ Sadistic water walkers
__ Mental institution escapees
__ Brain dead nerds
__ Super oxygen thieves
__ All of the above
Latest News:
__ I wrecked the car
__ I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit
__ You are going to have a grandchild
__ False alarm - you are NOT going to have a grandchild
Food:
__ Is great!
__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking
__ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals
Grades:
__ I am making all A's
__ I am not being properly challenged
__ I will be home after this semester
I study:
__ Night and day
__ All the time
__ 80 hours a week
__ Only on Sunday afternoon
__ None of the above
Daily Devotions:
__ I read my Bible everyday
__ I can't read
__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars
On my last visit home, I left:
__ My glasses
__ My paper that was due yesterday
__ The clothes you washed for me
__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment
__ Other _____________________________________________
Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS (Blue)
Laundry:
__ My white underwear is now _________________
__ I am saving money by not using detergent
__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester
__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains
My room:
__ Can pass your "white glove" test
__ Is only _____% full
__ Could not be located last Saturday night
__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training
Parties:
__ I don't inhale
__ I only go to meet people
__ Haven't been to one since this morning
Hope you:
__ Miss me
__ Can live without me
__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence
Salutation:
__ Your Daughter,
__ Your Son,
__ Yours,
Dear Parent(s),
I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics
of interest to both of us.
Please send:
__ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______
__ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________
__ Clean clothes!
Relationships:
__ What?
__ I am in love with myself
__ I am in love!
__ I am engaged
__ I got married last weekend
My Roommate:
__ Worships the ground I walk on
__ Gave me a black eye
__ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason
__ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed ???
__ Has fleas
My Professors are:
__ Sadistic water walkers
__ Mental institution escapees
__ Brain dead nerds
__ Super oxygen thieves
__ All of the above
Latest News:
__ I wrecked the car
__ I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit
__ You are going to have a grandchild
__ False alarm - you are NOT going to have a grandchild
Food:
__ Is great!
__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking
__ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals
Grades:
__ I am making all A's
__ I am not being properly challenged
__ I will be home after this semester
I study:
__ Night and day
__ All the time
__ 80 hours a week
__ Only on Sunday afternoon
__ None of the above
Daily Devotions:
__ I read my Bible everyday
__ I can't read
__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars
On my last visit home, I left:
__ My glasses
__ My paper that was due yesterday
__ The clothes you washed for me
__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment
__ Other _____________________________________________
Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS (Blue)
Laundry:
__ My white underwear is now _________________
__ I am saving money by not using detergent
__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester
__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains
My room:
__ Can pass your "white glove" test
__ Is only _____% full
__ Could not be located last Saturday night
__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training
Parties:
__ I don't inhale
__ I only go to meet people
__ Haven't been to one since this morning
Hope you:
__ Miss me
__ Can live without me
__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence
Salutation:
__ Your Daughter,
__ Your Son,
__ Yours,
A Little Paper Bag
A little paper bag was feeling rather unwell, so he took himself off to the doctors surgery.
"Doctor, I do not feel too good" said the little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me" said the Doctor, "but I will do a blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days."
So the poor little paper bag was feeling no better when he went back for the results. "What's wrong with me Doctor?" asked the little paper bag.
"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!"
"No, I can't be, I am just a little paper bag"
"Have you been having unprotected sex?"
"No, I can't do things like that, I am just a little paper bag!"
"Well, are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"No, I can't do that sort of thing, I told you already, I am just a little paper bag!!"
"Have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?"
"No, I don't do things like that, I am just a little paper bag!!!"
"Perhaps you have been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?"
"No I don't have a passport - I am just a little paper bag!!!!"
"Well then" said the Doctor "there can be only one explanation for your condition."
"What is it Doc?"
"I'm afraid your mother must have been a carrier!"
"Doctor, I do not feel too good" said the little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me" said the Doctor, "but I will do a blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a couple of days."
So the poor little paper bag was feeling no better when he went back for the results. "What's wrong with me Doctor?" asked the little paper bag.
"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!"
"No, I can't be, I am just a little paper bag"
"Have you been having unprotected sex?"
"No, I can't do things like that, I am just a little paper bag!"
"Well, are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"No, I can't do that sort of thing, I told you already, I am just a little paper bag!!"
"Have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?"
"No, I don't do things like that, I am just a little paper bag!!!"
"Perhaps you have been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?"
"No I don't have a passport - I am just a little paper bag!!!!"
"Well then" said the Doctor "there can be only one explanation for your condition."
"What is it Doc?"
"I'm afraid your mother must have been a carrier!"